The Answer is YES. Falling apart is a vital part of change.
I just got back from SK Live which is a 2-day pole dancing event with Sheila Kelley that centers on feminine movement your body loves. If you guys have been with me for a while I talk a lot about how movement, wait for this, it’s funny. Movement actually MOVES stuck stuff in your body. Stuck emotions, stuck memories, the stuck junk; the heavy stuff; the stuff that weighs us down.
So for two days we were moving our bodies AND moving stuck stuff.
It was glorious AND sometimes when you move the stuff that is stuck, that you maybe didn’t even know was there, or didn’t want to know was there, emotion bubbles to the surface and water comes out your eyeballs. And sometimes A LOT of water comes out your eyeballs, uncontrollably.
This is one way of letting ourselves fall apart, allowing all of the EVERYTHING to come to the surface and acknowledge it and then just LET. IT. OUT.
Letting yourself fall apart so that you can come back together greater and more whole.
Falling apart is about things needing to change in your life!
Letting go of old patterns, old thoughts, old resentments to create space and fertile ground for new growth.
Now I just want to point out that sometimes when you are falling apart you may not know what it is about, it is okay, you do not need to.
Just let the old go!
Check out the video for more on this here:
When I was sobbing it wasn’t because of a particular story I was aware of at the time. I wasn’t sobbing because there was a particular dramatic event that had happened recently. The sobbing was just what my body needed to do in that moment to release the old and stuck.
Letting ourselves sob and fall apart can be scary, especially when we have been hiding or stuffing the emotions down deep.
Instead of stuffing all of that stuck stuff back down, CHOOSE BRAVERY.
CHOOSE to let yourself FALL APART.
I chose bravery. I chose to sob. I chose letting go of control and surrendering in the moment.
If I can do it, I know you can too!
Do you let yourself fall apart? Or do you stuff it back down into the dark shadows?
The Quiet After The Storm
After the sobbing and falling apart, I realized my sobbing had melted a whole bunch of invisible barriers that I had with my body and in my life.
Now I have even MORE access to Living Orgasmically. I have even MORE access to the energies of joy and pleasure. I have more access to all of me.
And if that wasn’t enough the sobbing melted a lot of my barriers to receiving from other people.
We never know what will show up when we give ourselves the gift of falling apart, but what I know to be true is you will always get more of you, the true you.
Did you know shoes can teach us lessons about life AND falling apart?
Well mine can! Let’s have too much fun with this next part! Check out my gorgeous dance shoes!!
Just as a side-note There is a gift that comes with boots and shoes and high heels; there is an actual energy that gets activated in your body when you put on shoes that your body loves, and with really HIGH SHOES there is an orgasmic delicious sexual energy that gets activated. Treat yourself sometime to at least trying them on, even if you never intend to buy them!
Shoe #1-The tall black lace-up stilettos
(far left in image)
These were the first boots that I ever bought for dance. I loved them then and I still love them now. They’re hot, and they make me feel hot when I wear them. They create a lot of yumminess for my body, and I love the sensation of having these holes in between the fabric. They’re also extremely comfortable, and yet they are now falling apart, literally as they shed black particles every time I wear them. I also learned from wearing them so regularly and loving on them that their support was no longer what my body required. I am now ready to let them go.
Change is constant and you have to be willing to let go of some things in your life to allow new things to show up.
What in your life are you keeping around even though it is not supporting you as it once did AND is falling apart?
Shoe #2 – Pink Sparkle Beauties
Oh. My. God. These beauties. Just holding these incredible shoes gives me full-body goosebumps. I LOVE these shoes. I love them because they have this little slit on the back so if I want to add a pop of color I can wear socks! You can’t see this slit in the image, but if you and your body are curious please head over and check out the video here!
These magnificent shoes are REALLY high shoes. When I first put them on it was a little nerve-wracking and I was wobbly. I wasn’t sure that I could handle them because they were so HIGH, but guess what I did? I committed to them. I committed to them for multiple reasons: they DID have the support I was looking for even with the height, they aren’t fragile AND my body really likes them.
As mentioned when I first wore them I was extremely nervous and not confident, and NOW, because of my commitment to tackling something I wasn’t sure I could, I am no longer wobbly!! I walk with sexy confident and glow all the more because of facing the challenge.
Are there things in life you don’t think you can tackle? Are there things you long for but it seems too HIGH, too lofty a dream or goal? What if you committed to YOU, and chose to tackle that dream one step at a time?
Would you be willing to commit to you and what you know is possible?
Shoe #3- Tall Lace Up Patent Black Boots
(far right in image)
OH these babies are fierce, comfortable AND now that I have worn them a while, a bit of a comfort zone. They always serve me no matter what dance comes on. Their sticky texture helps me climb, they hide the wear and tear well and are NOT falling apart even with all the use.
These are my go-to boots; I feel safe and capable with them one.
I always know they are there for me and I can do anything in them, they are a constant support. These boots I love so much that if and when they do fall apart I will probably buy another pair- a love affair of a lifetime.
However, as I know they are my comfort zone when I wear them I’m not stretching myself. There is nothing wrong with comfort or having a comfort zone, but being aware of these places, people and even shoes that are your comfort zones give you information.
They let you know where your edge is so that if you WOULD like to put a toe or your whole life outside that comfort zone, you can!
Also… most magic doesn’t happen in the comfort zone!
Shoe #4- Tall Camel Color Moccasin Boots
I bought these shoes these shoes a long time ago. I never reach for them and they don’t bring me joy. They actually do nothing for my body. Even though they are comfortable they are just a NO.
There’s nothing wrong with them, they are just a NO for me and my body so why keep trying to make it work?
I apply this kind of concept to relationships.
Not too long ago I was dating a gentleman, and he was a gentleman. He was an amazing guy, super sweet, super thoughtful and kind, and still even though I wished it wasn’t, he was a no for me and my body. There was a split second where I did try to make a “no” into a “maybe”, but it was just a no.
He wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t wrong. It just wasn’t a yes for me, and I’m looking for a hell yes!
Do you try to turn no’s or maybe’s into YES’s in any areas of your life?
Shoe #5-Diamond Ice Rhinestone Heaven
Speaking of a hell YES story…Oh Boy! These babies. They chose me from the shelf, and I chose them. These are my STRETCH shoes right now. They spark joy when I look at them and hold them. They feel yummy when I put my hand in let alone my foot, YET they’re new and so beautiful I have been scared to wear them.
NOT actually “scared”, although because they are high and new I am wobbly and that brings up new challenges and new energies for me, but they’re so beautiful and seem so frail that I haven’t wanted to ruin them.
I bought these sparkly ethereal shoes all to not wear them!?
I didn’t want to wear them and the rhinestones to fall off, didn’t want to ruin their perfection.
I was even keeping them hidden in a black bag in my closet to keep them safe, my shoes…interesting.
I didn’t really realize that was the energy I was choosing to have around them, but now that I do I’m ready to change that and STRETCH.
Sidenote: the idea of perfection kills creation, kills creativity and stops you from growing.
Watch the video as I bang these seemingly fragile beauties against a hard table.
Guess what! After banging them on the table I learned valuable information. Testing their strength and craftsmanship level, THEY DIDN’T BREAK!!!!
They didn’t even get ruined a little bit! (They may have ruined my table though lol)
So as I share about these beautiful AND strong shoes that I thought would break easily, what is that thing in your life that you have put on a shelf to admire it from afar; that thing you don’t want to mess with too much because you think it is perfect just the way it is?
That thing that you think if you play with it too much it might break?
What if playing with it and testing its strength will give you even MORE, and you may just be surprised by how sturdy it is!
That it is not actually fragile at all.
Wouldn’t that be a lovely surprise?
Lean In
Next time something comes up and you feel like you are going to lose it, fall apart, would you instead of shutting it all down and trying to be perfect, just LEAN IN?
Lean into what is happening in your life. YOUR LIFE.
Maybe even push yourself a little bit sometimes to go beyond your comfort zones.
Move out beyond your decisions, your judgements, your conclusions and everything you think you already have figured out.
Go out beyond so that you can have MORE! More life, more joy, more orgasms, more YOU.
You may just find out a wonderous thing, that you aren’t actually fragile at all.
Join the Masterclass here: www.pattyalfonso.sexy/mistake
