For a long time I was shutting off so many parts of myself.
I was trapped in the “Good Girl Dilema” trying to please everyone around me.
I shut off my energy, my beauty, my sexualness, my desires and my receiving from the world. I was trying to fit myself into the appropriate box that make everyone happy and I was totally forgetting me. Funny thing is, I was often labeled as “The Black Sheep” in my family. As much as I cut myself off from me, it was never enough to please anyone.
Using the tools of Access Consciousness I began to unlock all of the places where I had incarcerated myself. I took a good look at what I had created and I started making changes. I ended relationships that were no longer nurturing, I quit jobs that were no longer a contribution, I cleared out my wardrobe and started over, I moved into a new apartment and I began re-creating my business.
Pole Dancing For Consciousness emerged and I was delighted. For years I had been doing Pole Dancing and Access Consciousness. Now that I was allowing myself to embody all of me, they merged into something far greater than I could have imagined.
For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to dance. I secretly wanted to be in burlesque shows and perform onstage. I kept stopping myself from performing at shows because I was concerned about what my family and friends would think. The desire had been there and now it was time to honor me.
When I began releasing my pole dancing pictures I did get a little “feedback” from people close to me. I had to gently stretch into receiving judgment because I had hidden from it for so long. Somewhere in my Universe I thought that if I was judged I would die.
What I’ve learned from Access is that everything is an interesting point of view. Everything! And trust me, everyone has their own point of view and they believe their point of view is the right one. I’ve been using the tool of light and heavy, A LOT. And if someone is “sharing” their point of view (or judgment) with me, and that shit is heavy, I just remember that’s their interesting point of view! What is light for you is true for you. What is heavy is not…it’s that simple!
I am so grateful that I have a totally different point of view about Pole Dancing. I am so grateful that I am aware of the contribution this work can be and that I am stepping out into the world and embodying it.
I am no longer concerned with being “The Good Girl” or “The Black Sheep”. I am in allowance of all of me. Sometimes that looks like a sweet, kind woman and sometimes that looks like a ravishing, hedonistic vixen. Consciousness includes everything and judges nothing.
If you were truly being you, who would you be? What have you been hiding from the world that if you shared it would change this reality? What could you create if you were being all of you?
Patty Alfonso
Access Consciousness Certified Facilitator
Creator Pole Dancing For Consciousness
